Lets Face(book) it :)

Please allow me to introduce myself, my name is H and I have OCD. I have had OCD as long as I can remember but I was only formally diagnosed with it about 2 years ago. Phew! Glad that's out of the way!

I have been ill for a few months with abdomen pain and because of this I have spent those months sitting in my flat awaiting various parts of the NHS to examine parts of me that even I don't really want access to. Last week, for example, I had a colonoscopy which is by far and away the most horrendous test I have ever had to go through. Anyway, I will get to that in time, once I have stopped emotionally rocking back and forth in my head hugging my knees. I digress...

Lately, due to my lack of socialising in the real world I have been using Facebook as a way of pretending to myself that I have had the odd bit of human contact other than my husband and various medical staff. The one thing that occurred to me is that Facebook has started to make me sad, actually that's a tad unfair as it is not the fault of Facebook but the fault of all the wonderful people I know that are having great lives.

It seems that most of the women I know are either pregnant, travelling to exotic places, modelling or generally enjoying themselves. Now, while I think this is wonderful...for them...I can't help but feel that the world out there is rock and rolling as I am sat in my flat day after day. I haven't had a diagnosis for the pain that I have and so while I am waiting for the that I am living vicariously.

Whilst I was feeling envious, I wondered also if it is just me or is everyone envious of the photos of drinking games, spectacular locations and general tomfoolery posted by other people - the witty banter!

Now, I have a husband, a wonderful man whom I love with all my heart and we enjoy our lives but I can't help but feel like perhaps people are enjoying themselves more than me - I've become ridiculously competitive which is exactly what I don't want.

Then, aaah a panacea for the pain, I have become faintly obssessed with talk shows. One in particular - that's the terrible thing about OCD, sometimes you can become obssessed with things that you really don't want to be obsessed with and you can't get them out of your mind no matter what you try.

There is a particular talk show that I am very fond of, wholly due to the almost agressive and forthright attitude of the host (I'm not obsessed with the host, don't worry) and while I understand that certain problems probably need an audience of maybe your family, friends etc they perhaps don't need to be on national television. However, I can sort of see the point of this sometimes, although today I was watching the humiliation of a poor women who had been lied to repeatedly by her partner who was not exactly Brad Pitt. Now, whether you view it as entertainment or genuinely helping people - there are some pretty messed up family units out there and up until a few years ago I kind of understood what it was like to get into some tricky situations without really intending. When my husband said 'Does this stuff really happen to people?!?' I had to concede that, yes, it does - thankfully my talk show behaviour is well and truly finito but the people on these shows appear to suffer so many indignities.

Let's all get connected on Facebook and attempt to out-enjoy all the other happy people - it's not a complete solution but it's a start :)